TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT: TEXT HARDER

[11121_assumption]

 

Texts from Last Night

You guys know the rules! Simply pop over to Texts from Last Night, pick out some for your character and post em up. Other characters then respond to the ridiculous texts sent out! Have fun~

Comments

Yup.

[seeingeyesteward]

1: She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.

2: He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.

3: Drinking game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail.

3

[meteorman]

Short of pumping it directly into your bloodstream I think that is the fastest way to get alcohol poisoning I've ever seen

HUZZAH

[borschtkot]

1: Who put my cat in the fridge?

2: Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

3: He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards.

2

[11121_assumption]

You can convince drunks of nearly anything. Why from the future?

[meteorman]

[A]
I remember going home with 2 Pokémon eggs. Woke up with 4.

[B]
I think it would be like really awesome if scientists could genetically engineer Kyogre to be like the size of goldfish so I could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY KYOGRE

[C]
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight.

[D]
[Text him!]

C

[schachmeister]

I'm not sure whether to ask how or why.

C

[rambling_runner]

Teach me your ways, wise sensei

B

[shiro2hero]

Which one is a Kyogre again?

[11121_assumption]

1) I can't believe it is only 1:30. I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home.

2) I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others. I enjoy sewing.

3) I'm watching Netflix with my Pokemon and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.

4) Spoiler alert: every single person on this planet is problematic in some way, because humanity is corrupt, self-fulfilling and terrible by nature. Congratulations. You've learned a core Truth of the universe today.

2

[sleepallthewayhome]

What do you sew?

3

[keep_surviving]

u can make bread? like from scratch?

[rambling_runner]

1) Yes, you torched it. No, of course I didn't bother putting the fire out. Do you know who you're talking to?

2) We need 14,000 post-its to execute this plan.

3) Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.

4) "Go on", I whisper as I unfold my hands towards the open sky. A single fuck slips between my fingers, soaring gracefully into the cool air. It catches the breeze, and is swept away. "You're free now."
My last fuck is gone.

2

[forsaintcecilia]

That's a lot of reminders! And people say I'm forgoetful!

[keep_surviving]

1) I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.

2) I am downtown smoking a joint with Erika... Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.

3) We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug

4) I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty.

5) The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.

6) i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.

7) I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.

7

[badluckbabe]

That depends...are you using the pokecenter showers? Because I wouldn't trust that floor.

[toxicodendron_isley]

1) If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.

2) My favourite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.

3) Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.

4) Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.

5) The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my friend brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is hardcore.

6) I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.

7) Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.

7

[2hellwiththe1stlaw]

Dude...I kind of want to learn how to embroider just so I can get that on like a throw pillow or something

beep beep

[guiltyeyes]

1. Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.

2. wtf why is there glitter all over my dog

3. I need to stop challenging people to take off their clothes. I win every time.

4. Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door

5. Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.

6. Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.

7. The emergency room is becoming so familiar to me that the nurse told me she's glad my boobs haven't changed.

4

[rambling_runner]

Whoever told you that is a fucking lair and oughta have their entry to the Sin Cave revoked.

[bertall]

1)
I saw a wingull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

2)
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position

3)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

4)
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.

5)
_[Wildcard!]

4

[meteorman]

Why would that not be an okay amount.

[schachmeister]

01.The best things in life are-

[To purchase full text click below]


02. A Kecleon that had eluded capture for weeks jumped on my head and ran down the entire length of me. I still couldn't catch it.


03. You either die with passion as a professional or live long enough to see yourself become Reviewer 2.


04. Skillfully applied 50.000p satellite tag to wailord. The same wailord I tagged yesterday.


05. I’m thinking of immigrating, growing a beard and going by Juan.
Which should answer how the paper is going.

4

[shiro2hero]

You


I'm impressed. But how?

[shiro2hero]

1. No i dont need a babysitter i have my team. Incineraor can dial 911 you know

2. THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL

3. I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when the kids here ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "get space PTSD"

4. the stars are great at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding

03

[schachmeister]

I mean, technically your twenties are going to be until 2112. Thereabouts.

[sleepallthewayhome]

1. I don't know what i'm feeling but there's a lot of it

2. I AM SO SORRY that i type like a very excited child, the truth is I'm very excited and I am a child

3. why doesn't the world allow me to rest

4. I didn't run away, I'm just sleeping under the bed where it's safe from the monsters

[cyan_maid]

1.) He just sent me a picture of multiple Torchics eating in his kitchen...should I be worried?

2.) WHY CAN'T I FIND JUST A NORMAL POKE-DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!

3.) I just spent $100 at a Poke Puff shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win $200 so if you win, it's mine. And yes, I'm serious.

4.) Text her!

I suck at these but fuck it I'm trying

[forsaintcecilia]

1. OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A STANTLER. I AM SHAKING

(1-415):
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!

(415):
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.

2. I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.

3. The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his girlfriend

4. Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic Rapidash.

4

[rambling_runner]

I personally always feel like a fae. Mostly cos half the time if I told em they'd call me a liar and refuse to believe I exist, or would try to rope me into some threeway.

But on the off chance they're nice about it, then I can be a right darling for em ;D

[agent3]

1.) got outsmarted by a door tonight. twice.

2.) dunno how i got home but m pretty sure the drowzee in my closet had somethin to do with it

3.) we cant cook wishcash in the house. his names herbert, were keeping him n cant eat his people in front of him.

4.) Text her!

[rambling_runner]

How the hell do you get outsmarted by a door??

[lionroll]

1) She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.

2) OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER QUIZNAKING DEERLING. I AM SHAKING

3) This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

4) i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer wailords to be like the size of goldeen so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY WAILORDS!!

5) I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your lunch, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

3

[shiro2hero]

Did you check your map?

finally Credence arrives

[notclearwater]

1: Delivery is delayed. Too much ice. Thanks, Elsa.

2: Dear People who like me, I appreciate every single three of you.

3: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".

4: I'm the kind of guy who brings his phone charger to the party.

5: The first time a girl walked up to me and gave me her number I didn't know what to do so I ate it.

5

[keep_surviving]

u 8 my numbah? harsh Cre. x